Turtle Power!

Everybody had their thing when they were a kid: G.I. Joe, Barbie, Transformers, Bratz, etc. Well, mine was Ninja Turtles and anybody who was into something else sucks. Ninja Turtles are awesome. The only other one that can compare is Transformers because, well, they transformed. Cool stuff. But give me a break. Turtles that are ninjas. They were taught their ninja skills by a giant rat. It doesn't get cooler than that.

Strangely enough, my favorite turtle was Raphael when I was a kid. Man, he was such a moody prick. I hate him now. I have no idea why I liked him so much. Maybe it was because he had sai as weapons. That is so awesome. Everybody knew what a sword, bo, and nunchuks were. Who knew what a sai was before the Ninja Turtles? Only the Asians, that's who. But then Raphael busted them out and everyone wanted one. Including me. I made one out of wood with my grandfather in his workshop. I instantly became the coolest kid around.

Anyway, I found my TMNT sewer in my attic a couple of weeks ago filled with all of my old toys. I photographed all of them and put them all on Flickr. Then I bought a toy collector's magazine to find out how much they're worth and am now contemplating selling them on eBay. If I get what they're worth, I'll make around $400. Bitchin'. I hope I find some guy that needs all of them and wants to pay me a grand for 'em. I would toy with his heart a little bit at first. But then I'd do it. And I'd be a millionaire.