Saturday, March 8, 2008

10,000 BC

I must admit, I have a soft spot in my heart for Roland Emmerich movies. Independence Day is a wonderful alien flick. Who doesn't love Jeff Goldblum? He's basically reprising his character as Dr. Malcolm in Jurassic Park and that's fine by me. The Day After Tomorrow was an enjoyable apocalyptic epic that was full of plot holes and bad writing. The Patriot has Mel Gibson kicking ass with a hatchet and the character of Colonel Tavington, the role that Jason Isaacs was born for. We'll try not talk think about Emmerich's other movies (coughGODZILLAcough) but rather focus on what he does best: cheesy epic movies.

10,000 BC was ridiculous. It was full of awful cheesy coincidences and every line of dialogue sounded like it was written by a 14 year old boy living in 1986. If you expect this to be a quality movie, then you will be sorely disappointed. There are two reasons and two reasons alone to pay to see 10,000 BC. You either want to see it for the herds of woolly mammoths, the badass saber-tooth tiger, and the strange raptor/ostrich hybrids or you want something that will put you in hysterics every time one of the characters decides to be serious or emotional. Or both. That's why I saw it. I also saw it because it was free. One more thing that needs to be mentioned is how ludicrous Affif Ben Badra's character of the Warlord's voice was. It was like a cross between Xerxes from 300 and Richard Kiel in Happy Gilmore with an added echo effect. The movie is full of stupid stuff like that. I would recommend 10,000 BC on two conditions. One is that you have an affinity for unrealistic epic movies and the other is that you don't take it seriously. At all.

No comments: