Stars Of The Lid Teaser

Yeah, there's gonna be a Stars Of The Lid movie. No, there's no information about it. Except this. This is gonna be epic.

Neil Young - Dead Man Soundtrack

Neil Young - Guitar Solo, No. 1


Neil Young - Do You Know How To Use This Weapon?


The first time I watched Jim Jarmusch's masterpiece Dead Man, I remember being totally infatuated with the soundtrack. And like, immediately, too. It wasn't like the movie finished and upon contemplation I thought to myself, "That was a good movie. And it had a decent soundtrack, too." No. Right after the opening scene (<3 Crispin Glover) I declared, "I love this soundtrack!" But like most things I get excited about, I completely forgot about it in a matter of time. Then thanks to the wonderful internet, I stumbled upon it recently and have once again renewed my love for this soundtrack, never again to be forgotten.

The Dead Man Soundtrack is done by Neil Young. Never in a million years did I think I would be this impressed by a Neil Young record. I mean, it's not that I hate the guy or anything, it's just that I don't think about him. At all.

The music from Dead Man is almost entirely guitar based. It's intensely thick with reverb, echoing all over itself. It's hot, dusty, dry, and full of the outdoors. Now I don't just say that because the film is hot and dry and I'm just trying to cheat out by describing the movie instead of the music. But because the music melds so seamlessly with the imagery from Dead Man that the qualities of the two are almost synonymous.

There are other pieces on the soundtrack that are quotes and dialogue from the movie. It's not a cop-out, though. It's poetic and still (I assume) meaningful to people who haven't seen the movie. You get to hear Johnny Depp, Gary Farmer, Iggy Pop, and Billy Bob Thorton go all existential, everything they say complementing the wide open guitar perfectly.

Everything about this soundtrack is amazing. I rank it up in the Top 5 Best Soundtracks along with 28 Days Later, Lost In Translation, Snatch, and Marie Antionette. For maximum mind-fuckling, I recommend you try listening to this while trudging through a snow storm. There's nothing quite like it.

Blip Festival: Reformat The Planet

I just wrote a review of the movie Blip Festival: Reformat The Planet, a documentary about 8 bit music and the festival exclusively featuring 8 bit musicians. And because this is technically a music blog and it was a movie review, I posted it on my movie blog. Makes sense, right? Anyway, it was a great movie and I highly recommend both it and my review of it (obviously). You can check out the review over on Closet One and (up until the 21st) you can stream the movie at Pitchfork.TV.

Movie Quickies 5/22

Quickies is a post I do every now and then to briefly talk about some movies or CDs I've experienced lately that I don't think I'd be able to come up with enough words for a full review.


Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
I'm not giving this a full review because everyone and their mother is going to see it regardless of what I have to say about it. I just thought I'd let everyone know my thoughts on the matter. First of all, it's still too fresh for me to consider ranking it amongst the rest of the Indy films so no, I'm not going to say I liked it better than the Last Crusade or less than Raiders. I will say I liked it a lot and it fits well with the rest of the trilogy. There was a car chase in the jungle featuring a sword fighting duel on the hoods of Jeeps. Crazy cool. The humor was perfect and yes, I personally think they were able to work the "weird" plot into it and still make it an Indiana Jones movie. And as great as Shia LeBeouf was, he really brought me out of the time period because I kept picturing him as Sam in Transformers. The return of Karen Allen was wonderful but there wasn't nearly enough Cate Blanchett. She was severely underused. All in all, though, a worthy (and hopefully final) Indiana Jones film.



The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian
I was one of the few who really enjoyed The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe. It wasn't an amazing movie, but it was definitely fun. And I was looking forward to something similar with Prince Caspian. I expected a better looking movie with a weaker story and that's exactly what I got. The Poseidon type guy at the end looked utterly realistic. I could have done with a lot more of Aslan and a lot less Christianity, though. Sadly, I hear the books have less and less fantasy as they continue and more regular people. Come on, Lewis. Don't you know why people were reading the Narnia books? It was for the minotaurs and fauns. And Aslan.


The Savages
This was a sincere and realistic portrayal of an ill-at-ease family dealing with a father's slip into dementia. With Laura Linney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Philip Bosco, you know you're going to have really solid acting. Linney and Hoffman were so believable as siblings, that at times it seemed almost like a documentary. I'm surprised that this movie didn't do as well as it could have, especially with the cast involved. My guess is poor marketing. I expected this to be much more of a comedy than it actually was. Maybe people heard that it wasn't hilarious and they stayed away. Well, if that was you, then you should give this a shot. It's worth it.


Teeth
A horror movie featuring a vagina with teeth. Genius, right? I mean, if I was a studio exec and someone came to me and that's all they said, I'd sign off on it immediately. Well, something went wrong somewhere because this movie had serious potential and it fell flat. It wasn't bad, per se, but I had such high hopes for it. It was terribly predictable and had sub-par acting. It did have it's moments, though, and on originality alone, I have to at least give this a slight recommendation.

The Edge Of Love Trailer

I'm only posting this because Cillian Murphy is in it. Really.

The X Files: I Want To Believe Trailer

Ok, I was an X Files fan when it was on TV, but I was not crazy. I probably haven't ever seen a whole season straight through, probably haven't even seen a third of all the episodes. BUT, I still really like it and the first movie. Great premise. You can't really go wrong. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are one of those great pairings that seem inseparable.

I am really looking forward to the new movie. This is a great trailer that really gets me amped for it, too. Epic music, quick cuts, and hardly any information is revealed. All of those guys standing in a line in the middle of that snow field is awesome. And Gillian Anderson is still hot.

War, Inc Trailer

The trailer for the new John Cusack movie War, Inc is now available online for your viewing pleasure. It sports a nice cast with Joan Cusack (obviously), Marisa Tomei, Dan Aykroyd, and Ben Kingsley. The trailer is a bit long but I don't think it gives anything away. And it has a nice soundtrack with some Hendrix and Bowie's Rebel Rebel. On the whole, it looks quite palatable.

Movie Quickies 5/12

Quickies is a post I do every now and then to briefly talk about some movies or CDs I've experienced lately that I don't think I'd be able to come up with enough words for a full review.


Iron Man
It was fun and worth seeing. It didn't really break any new ground, even in the superhero genre. Surprisingly, there wasn't as much action as I expected there to be. But then again, there was no real villain to fight. They did a great job making you like Tony Stark. He's a self absorbed womanizing prick but he's just so damn charming. And there was some cool moments...I guess. I just can't remember any of them. That's pretty telling. I know it's a summer popcorn movie but I only saw it a week ago. Easily forgettable. If you want a better experience, go see Speed Racer.


Forgetting Sarah Marshall
I wasn't paying any attention to this movie before it came out. Then I heard someone mention Judd Apatow's name in relation to it and my ears perked. After hearing that, I became slightly interested in it. But only slightly. I still didn't think it looked all that funny. It looked too much like a generic rom-com. And it was. As expected. there were moments that are hilarious (like the idea of Peter's Dracula puppet musical) but for the most part, this is definitely a movie you can skip.


For All Mankind
Apparently this movie is a big deal because Criterion put it out on DVD but I'd never heard of it until Netflix recommended it to me. It's a documentary composed almost entirely of actual footage of the first US manned mission to the moon. It was interesting but the best part is that Brian Eno scored the whole thing (the main reason I even bothered with it). And I discovered that one of the most recognizable tracks from 28 Days Later, Eno's An Ending (Ascent), was taken from For All Mankind. In addition to being in the movie, it plays over the DVD menu. That was a very pleasant surprise.

Speed Racer

I swore off the cartoon after seeing it only a couple of times when I was a kid. I didn't like the animation style, it wasn't funny, and I just thought it was stupid. And before you go all "omgzwtf iz wrong wit u" I was like 7 years old and pretty much only liked the Ninja Turtles (proof). Going on that, I watched the new Speed Racer movie from the Wachowski brothers with virgin eyes. I have no idea if they screwed up any characters, relationships, names, or major storylines. But if the Wachowskis wanted to make a successful movie, they would have to be able to please both newbies like me and the rabid fanboys. I'm not so sure how the fanboys took it, but in my book, Andy and Larry Wachowski certainly wound up with an enjoyable movie.

Side note: IMAX to me is like Wal-Mart. I only go when I absolutely need to. I don't need to see Harry Potter, I Am Legend, or Charlie And The Chocolate Factory on the biggest screen in town. I have only wanted to see two movies thus far in IMAX, including this one (the last one was Transformers, which is the reason IMAX was made, in my opinion).

I wanted to see Speed Racer for nothing more than the visuals. The story didn't really interest me and I knew it was going to be cheesy. I wanted my head to explode with fantastic eye candy. I wanted fast cuts, bright colors, speeding cars, and crazy digital effects only accomplished by filming in front of a green screen. And that's exactly what I got. The previews for Speed Racer don't lie. It's an almost non-stop roller coaster. But one of it's downfalls was it's length. Going on for over 2 hours, it couldn't be a completely constant barrage of headache inducing visuals, otherwise people would, well, get really bad headaches. So while there was plenty of action, there was a lull here and there where I got a little bored. Not much, but enough for me to notice.

Speed Racer is great, and I love it (more than Iron Man, the only other summer movie to compare it to at the moment). Only in this day and age can a movie like Speed Racer be successful. The pre-ADD generation wouldn't stand for such relentless visual bombardment. Speed Racer is a Saturday morning cartoon on speed, or more specifically, a show that could easily be found on Adult Swim.

There were a few times where I actually laughed out loud, but not very many. Spritle and Chim Chim were less annoying than expected and seeing Hiroyuki Sanada was a pleasant surprise. And thankfully, this isn't a kids movie with adult/pop reference jokes in it like every digitally animated Dreamworks movie to date. It's just a straight up kids movie that adults can enjoy either due to nostalgia or the dazzle factor. There was one joke, however, that strayed from the norm. After the Racer family is attacked by ninjas, Trixie sees Pops throw one of them out a window and says, "Was that a ninja?" Pops replies, "Ninja? More like a nunja. It's amazing what passes for a ninja these days." I died laughing. Hearing that come from John Goodman was priceless.

I could have dealt with a little less story (the Racer X bit at the end was totally unnecessary, borderline unbearable) and maybe a little more cheese. At times, I was surprised to see it taking itself too seriously. Not enough lines like Christina Ricci doing her best soap opera impression with "Move it, Speed, it's getting ugly out there" and too many Kodak moments. But when you see race track wall panels with "running" zebras that look like they're straight out of a William Horner Zoetrope, you kind of stop caring. And the last race? The Grand Prix? Oh man. I haven't seen such an acid trip climax like that in a mainstream movie since....well, maybe never.

So clearly Speed Racer is meant to be a popcorn flick. Nothing more than a summer blockbuster with little substance. If you like the idea of mixing rainbows and race cars, then you've just found your movie.

War Dance

This isn't a full on review or anything. I just wanted to express my utmost appreciation for this film. War Dance is about the Acholi tribe in Northern Uganda, where civil war is ravaging the country. However, there is a primary school within a refugee camp where the students have won the honor of competing in the prestigious National Music Competition. The film juxtaposes the people's constant fear of being attacked by the rebels and the horrifying stories of how these children have lost their families with their daily practicing of song and dance in hopes of showing the rest of the country that they are worthy of respect at the competition. It's gorgeously filmed, with vibrant colors and tightly framed, invading close ups. It's an uplifting story that is hard to relate to, one that evokes both empathy and hope. It's an unbelievable movie that is deserving of it's Oscar nomination for Best Documentary, as well as the other awards it won at various festivals (including Sundance). If this slipped by you in it's limited theatrical run like it did to me, by all means take the time to watch it on video.

Rock Out With Your Wand Out

Harry And The Potters

I have never read a Harry Potter book. The only knowledge I have is from watching all 5 of the movies thus far. It's not that I don't like Harry Potter, I've just never gotten around to reading the books (and I don't think I ever will). And I am endlessly fascinated with how these books affect people. It was really creepy walking around town when the last book, The Deathly Hallows, came out. Everyone was reading it. Nobody was talking to each other. It was like everyone had been brainwashed. You'd see a family of four, sitting at a table in a cafe, all reading their own books. There's something at least a little wrong with that. Well, the new documentary We Are Wizards, takes a look at the sub-culture that Harry Potter has created and how it's effected people. I caught this movie as it was showing for the Independent Film Festival Of Boston and after the movie, there was a Wizard Rock show with Harry And the Potters, Draco And The Malfoys, The Whomping Willows, and The Hungarian Horntails.

We Are Wizards was a great, fun documentary. It's not a movie that you need to have read the Harry Potter books to enjoy. The first part of the movie focused on the aforementioned bands, the ones that play music about Harry Potter. Known as Wizard Rock (or WRock), it has become a sizable genre of music with hundreds of bands sprouting up on MySpace. All four of the bands that performed live afterwards were featured in the movie. There were also tales of lawsuits from Warner Brothers that were thwarted by kids around the world that run Harry Potter fansites. And of course, genius creator of that Washington video Brad Neely was on hand to talk about his Wizard People, Dear Reader...thing. Neely created a voiceover to be played along with the first Harry Potter movie with the movie's volume turned down (similar to what MST3K is doing now). The twist is, Neely has never read the books. He was just a fan of the movie and thought it would be funny to create his own story. A lot of the people featured in We Are Wizards were at the screening. Neely was also at the WRock show afterwards, but I was too nervous to go talk to him. I couldn't think of anything to say. Anyways, We Are Wizards takes a really interesting look at how Harry Potter has shaped our society in a good way. If that sounds like your kind of thing, well, then go see it.

You want to know what the best part of a WRock show is? It's the adults' unabashed love for all things Harry Potter and not being ashamed to rock out and have a good time to bands singing about HP. Everybody is positive, nobody is judging, and the room is full of awesomeness. Take, for example, The Hungarian Horntails. They are two brothers, about 7 and 5 years old, singing about being a dragon. The 7 year old is the lead, plays guitar and sings, while his younger brother does backup vocals. Some sample lyrics: "I am a dragon and I don't care, I just wanna see people scared!" These kids embody what it means to be a WRock band. They have no fear, no shame, and just do what they love. And because they were performing in Boston (home to the Boston Tea Party) they threw dozens of tea bags into the audience at the end of their set. Nice touch. The rest of the show was just as fun. The Whomping Willows is a one man band, singing from the perspective of a tree, a really horny tree I might add. And then there's Draco And The Malfoys, who are two brothers singing about how much they hate Harry and love Voldemort.

Ahhhh, and finally there's Harry And The Potters. They have really matured since their first CD. In the beginning, they were just some kids playing mediocre music from the perspective of Harry Potter. Now, now, they can rock with the best of them and craft super catchy songs that make you laugh out loud. My love for Harry And The Potters is unrequited. Maybe I don't get all of their jokes, but I don't need to. I enjoy it all the same (and Elise lets me in on some of the more obscure jokes sometimes). The Harrys are such an energetic live band that really know how to engage the crowd. They get you singing and dancing and their number one priority is making sure you're all having a great time. Their recorded music is fantastic (and if you've never heard them before, start with The Power Of Love) but seeing them live is a totally different experience and is one that everyone should participate in at least once.

Baby Mama

Yeeaaahhhh.....I saw this one. At least I got paid for it. It needed to be screened at my theater so I took the plunge. My wife had some interest in it, so she joined me. But as awful as the trailers for this looked, there were moments where I was cracking up. It is not completely devoid of comedy but it's main problem was the funny jokes were too few and far between. It makes for a really bad laugh ratio when a movie is an hour and a half and I only laughed 6 or 7 times.

Baby Mama stars Tina Fey as Kate Holbrook and Amy Poehler as Angie Ostrowiski. Kate wants a baby but can't get pregnant so she goes through a surrogacy program run by Chaffee Bicknell (Sigourney Weaver) and ends up paying Angie to be the surrogate mother for her child. Not that much of a plot involved, we just get to watch all of the shenanigans involving Kate, Angie, and the various side characters. One of the highlights was Steve Martin as a hippie version of Tim Robbins' Ian from High Fidelity. Sadly, his character was overused and became annoying after 10 minutes of screen time. There was also Dax Shepard playing Carl, Angie's common law husband, who made for some good laughs. And there are a couple of nice cameos involving Jon Glaser and Fred Armisen, but neither of them really have much to work with.

Being a movie about a woman who wants to get pregnant but can't, this is obviously geared towards woman. However, I wouldn't classify this as a chick flick. It's just the subject matter that's feminine, it's not overly mushy or lovey or any of the other words typically ascribed to chick flicks. It's just a comedy. But, comedies are supposed to be funny. You know, the audience is supposed to laugh. So that's the problem with Baby Mama. I didn't laugh enough for me to consider it a successful comedy. Yes, there were moments of near genius, but they weren't able to keep it up for the whole movie. Then again, we shouldn't be too surprised when the movie is written and directed by Michael McCullers, the guy who wrote the Austin Powers movies.

Before The Devil Knows You're Dead

I heard great things about this one. Fantastic things. Things that made me think, "Why isn't this getting any attention at the Oscars?" It's from visionary director Sidney Lumet and stars Ethan Hawke and Philip Seymour Hoffman, how is this not being nominated for anything? But then last night I saw it. And while it was a really superb movie, I now understand why it was passed over by the Academy. It was just up against too many other great movies. It wasn't flawed in any major way, it just got released in the same year as movies like The Assassination Of Jesse James, There Will Be Blood, and No Country For Old Men. And that's some stiff competition.

Before The Devil Knows You're Dead is about two brothers Hank (Hawke) and Andy (Hoffman) who both have serious money problems. Andy's idea is to rob their parents jewelry store to make some quick cash. Their parents have insurance so they'll be compensated, no one will get hurt, and they solve their financial problems. Everyone wins, right?

Well, if that were the case, this wouldn't make a very exciting movie. Within the opening 15 minutes, we see the robbery take place and we watch as things turn sour. The interesting thing about this movie is how information is given to us. The story is not told chronologically, it frequently jumps back to the past and then follows a different sequence to bring us to the present again. We only occasionally see the same scene twice (unlike Vantage Point) and when we do, it's always to give us important information that couldn't be worked into the scene when it was shown previously. This allows to filmmakers to feed us information as they deem necessary. We are only told what we need to know, no more, no less. There are no scenes that set the foundation of all the characters in the beginning. For example, we only find out that Andy and Hank work together 30 or 40 minutes into the movie. Normally, this is the sort of irrelevant information that gets tossed around within the first 10 minutes of a movie. But not here.

In addition to giving the audience certain pieces of information, there's also bits that are withheld entirely. We see Hank visiting his daughter, who lives with his ex, dropping her off from her softball games and various fatherly things (but of course, he never has the child support payments). The first line Andy's ex has in the movie is "Fuck you, Andy." Right off the bat, we see she is an angry character and throughout the movie, our hatred for her only grows. But we're never told what happened to their relationship, why they broke up. We only see one side. She probably has legitimate reasons to hate Andy and treat him like shit. And as we don't see Andy's history, we also don't see his future. At the end of the movie, all of the main character's stories are wrapped up, with the exception of Andy's. I'm sure we're supposed to imagine specific things happened, but it's not like he was a minor character. Ethan Hawke was second billed. Your guess is as good as mine (or maybe even better) as to why they left out so much info about Andy.

Before The Devil Knows You're Dead was a movie that was great in many ways. Wonderfully acted and beautifully filmed, it had all of the ingredients for an Oscar nomination. If you missed out on this one in the theaters because there were too many other movies that needed to be seen, give this one a chance now that it's out on DVD. It's well worth it.

The Rape Of Europa

Little fact about me: I plan on going to graduate school to become a film archivist (still and/or video).

The Rape Of Europa is a documentary based on the book of the same title by Lynn Nicholas. Everyone knows about the Holocaust and the genocide of 6 million Jews. What gets overlooked, however, is how Hitler was able to not just destroy people but also their cultures and symbols. The Rape Of Europa tells the story of Hitler's Third Reich by focusing on art and architecture and how they were affected by WWII. In addition to the reckless bombing that nearly decimated all of the ancient architecture in Europe, Hitler and his officers raided museums and private collections of innumerable classic pieces to be used in their own collections. Hitler himself, when creating plans for the remodeled city of Linz, had in mind the world's largest museum erected in his name. Europa has tales of specific paintings and their journeys from prestigious museums to hidden mines and it tells of specific people who did everything they could to stop the wrecking and pillaging. Because this is an account of one of most destructive moments in recent history, this movie is, for the most part, a downer.

As devastating as Europa is, however, there were still many moments of courage and hope. There was one French woman who worked in a museum in Paris before the war, who was transfered to work in a museum-turned-warehouse that was being used as a depository for all of the stolen artworks. This unassuming woman, who secretly spoke German, kept a diary of every piece of art that came and went through the museum. During her workday, she would memorize every detail that she could and when she returned home, she would write down who the piece originally belonged to and where it went after it left the museum. Because of her tireless work, hundreds of paintings have been returned to their rightful heirs.

After one unfortunate Allied bombing in the Italian mountainside that missed all targets but almost completely leveled an ancient, world-renowned monastery, the Nazis issued propaganda that called the Allies destroyers of art. In response to that, the United States sent art experts into the front lines. Art professors and historians who had never been in the Army or seen combat before were now out in the middle of the action and their sole purpose was to take note of buildings and public statues that were not to be touched. They became known as the Monument Men and with minimal resources, they were able to save numerous buildings from utter destruction.

Many large museums across Europe attempted to evacuate their collections to be protected from pillaging and collateral damage but one of the most emotional moments in The Rape Of Europa was the evacuation of The Louvre. One of the most important pieces that needed to be transported out of the museum was the Winged Victory of Samothrace. It was extremely difficult to move because it has been reconstructed over the years and it consists of hundreds of different pieces, all glued together. The amount of time and care that went into moving the Victory in the midst of war was remarkable. Knowing that these people risked their lives for a work of art is truly inspiring.

The Rape Of Europa has a few of wonderful stories but the majority of it shows just how awful Hitler and his Third Reich were to the people of Europe. And many of them were naive about their safety. Locals to Pisa, for example, thought there was no chance the war would reach them because they were home to the Camposanto and the Leaning Tower. Sadly, they were wrong and the Camposanto was demolished, and the melting lead roof coated all of the ancient frescoes.

Europa has many tragedies coupled with few triumphs, but such is the case when dealing with the history of WWII. However, it is an enlightening, touching story exhibiting true devotion and heroism. I recommend this highly to all.

Ice Spiders

I'm not ashamed to say that I watched this. It had potential. All I needed to know was that it involved giant vicious spiders. It sadly wasn't funny enough to be enjoyable. It was a movie that tried to be intentionally bad and funny but with that much self awareness, it just turned out bad. It stars Vanessa Williams (not the one you're thinking of) and Patrick Muldoon, one of the guys from Starship Troopers. When some guy asks Muldoon, "Who put you in charge?" he responds by saying something about having experience fighting bugs or something like that. There were a few lines like that that were amusing, but not nearly enough. There was also Noah Bastian, who's character is named Chad. He was also named Chad in the MTV band/movie 2ge+her. And you can't forget the forest ranger named Rick. This movie was bad upon bad. The cheesy dialogue, the low budget graphics, the ever changing size of the spiders, and the stone faced acting sadly all amounted to a lame movie that had possibilities. Even if you're looking for a bad movie to laugh at, skip this one and look for something like The Stuff.

The Grand

I've been excited about The Grand for a while now. It had a limited release back on March 21 and it just hit Boston this past Friday at The Kendall. When you have a movie that's directed by Zak Penn (Incident At Loch Ness) who tells his cast including Ray Romano, Werner Herzog, David Cross, Dennis Farina, Richard Kind, Woody Harrelson, Michael McKean, and numerous others to improvise, it has to be good. The script was supposedly only 29 pages long and the rest was up to the cast. While this movie is obviously an absurd comedy, it's also a poker movie. So as funny as it was, to get the full enjoyment, it helps to at least be interested in the topic at hand.

The Grand is structured like a documentary, with various one-on-one interviews with the players. Everybody gets a little bit of backstory so we can see where they're coming from, with the exception of Woody "One Eyed Jack" Harrelson. Instead of just giving us his history, which includes him inheriting his grandfather's Lucky Rabbit's Foot Casino, it furthers the story by showing how he's run it into the ground and is in jeopardy of losing it to Billionaire Steve Lavisch, played by McKean. Lavisch wants to bulldoze the Rabbit's Foot and build his own casino, consisting of two enormous buildings, but only one room total between the two of them (no, you didn't read that wrong). So while all of the characters have their own background, One Eyed Jack is the only one with a foreseeable future. We only know what Jack plans to do with the $10 million prize if he wins The Grand tournament. As for the other players? We have no idea.

That's one of the rare problems I had with The Grand. I thought if they were going to do a little bit to create a plot, it should have involved more characters. Only giving us info about one character seemed weak. They should have either left it alone or given us more.

The other drawback, which I hinted at earlier, was that you need to be into poker to enjoy some of The Grand. I have no such interests. The Grand is definitely a comedy movie with a little bit of poker in it but there was a big tournament called The Grand that obviously needed to be shown. The final scene of the movie was supposed to be a climactic game between all of the greatest poker players vying for the $10 million prize. The problem was it was seriously lacking in any laughs. Being less than enthused by poker made this scene drag. So sadly, The Grand kind of ended on a low note.

Although just because it ends in a boring way, doesn't mean the rest of the movie was dull. In fact, The Grand was just the opposite. There were parts where I was in tears it was so funny. Even amongst all of the fantastic improv, there was one standout act. That would be Werner "The German" Herzog. The two best scenes in the movie are his entrance and his exit. The epic Handel-esque song when The German comes into the hotel is fantastic. The lyrics, you just need to hear to them. They're amazing. And when he's about to leave, he can't find his bunny, Munchkin. He won't leave without him and he's pacing through the hallway saying, "Muchkin, Munchkin, Munchkin. Where are you, Munchkin? I've lost my bunny. Have you seen my Munchkin?" It's hilarious. I love Herzog and the movie is worthwhile even if just for his role.

So while it really helps to have some passion for poker playing, especially watching it being played, The Grand is still a successful movie. It's fantastic seeing what all of these great actors come up with. And at the very least, I guarantee you'll be laughing watching The German being interviewed with Munchkin in his lap.

The Ruins

Well, it's been a long time since I've seen a mainstream teen-oriented horror movie. I stopped once the slasher trend started. One of the last ones I saw was 2002's The Ring with Naomi Watts. And while I think the scene with the horse on the ferry is one of the coolest ever, the genre isn't really my kind of thing. Occasionally I'll get the urge to see one, like Resident Evil or something equally frivolous, and this time it just happened to be The Ruins. It looked like it might actually have some scary moments and while it didn't seem entirely original, I was going to give it the benefit of the doubt.

From what I've read about the buzz on this movie, everyone seems to think a certain thing happens to the kids that stumble upon the ancient Mayan ruins. And I was in the same boat. This is tricky to talk about, because I don't want to give anything away. Of course, if you've read the book by Scott B. Smith that the movie was based on, then you know most of what happens. Let me just put it this way. I thought the kids encountered one thing when they got to the ruins but I was completely wrong. The trailers made it look like one thing and the movie is about another. I enjoyed and was surprised at being wrong about The Ruins and I would like to try to keep those feelings intact for those of you who haven't seen it yet.

While The Ruins was mostly pleasurable, it wasn't scary in the way I thought it would be. There weren't any moments that made you jump. The fear comes in the sympathy that's felt towards these kids. The experiences they're having are surreal. It's so bizarre and awful that it can't be real, but it is, and you're terrified for them. And amidst all of what's going on, you realize their situation is almost completely hopeless. They're stuck on an ancient Mayan temple, forced to stay where the are by the villagers who live in the jungle. They'll die if they stay on the temple, they'll die if they get off the temple. Situations like that have to be scary. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. The Ruins is successfully terrifying only if you're able to put yourself in the characters' shoes. Otherwise, you'll have it enjoy The Ruins for it's gore.

From the previews, you see things crawling under the kids' skin, this is a given. This is far from torture porn, this isn't the next Hostel or Saw. But the best parts of the movie are the grossest. When they attempt to cut these things out of their bodies, even the most stolid of people will become squeamish. And cauterizing an amputated limb with a hot frying pan? The guy screaming in agony says it all.

The Ruins was a decent movie. Nothing noteworthy, but also not a waste of money. If you were a fan of the book, by all means, go see it. I read that most of the characters deaths were switched around to give those familiar with the story a new experience. And if you're into this new type of horror movie, then go for it. Or if you're looking to feel really sorry for some American tourists, then this is definitely for you.

Leatherheads

Leatherheads, directed by and starring George Clooney, is about the origins of professional football. Carter Rutherford, played by John Krasinski, is a college football great as well as a war hero. George Clooney is Dodge Connelly, an aging pro football player who's team is about to go bankrupt. Renée Zellweger is the reporter who is out the find the truth in Carter's war stories. And all of them get together to film a painfully boring movie.

Leatherheads had a few notable points, but only a few. First of all, the casting was very good. All of the people involved had old fashioned good looks. Not that you'd notice it in The Office, but Krasinski looks like he was made for his role as Carter Rutherford. Of course Clooney is a traditional good looking guy, but the supporting cast was just as perfect. They all looked like they belonged in the 20s. Secondly, the music was spot on. Randy Newman (who has a cameo as a bar room piano player during the brawl) composed all of the music and it doesn't just fit the environments, it creates them. In Leatherheads, the music is often the final touch that really puts everything together.

One of the things that Leatherheads clearly has going for it is Clooney's ability as a director to make a movie that is believably set in a specific time. His previous attempt at directing, Good Night, And Good Luck, was a fine movie that really made you think it was made in the 50s. Leatherheads goes a back a few more decades to the Roaring Twenties where alcohol is outlawed and you can't say "Jesus" on the radio. This time, Clooney really goes overboard with the duplication of a 1920s movie. We see goofy slapstick humor coupled with awful jokes, neither of which make us laugh. Like when Clooney and Zellweger are being chased by cops. Clooney slams a door in their face, then opens it back up to find them all sprawled on the ground. The two of them hide behind the closed door and re-emerge donning police uniforms. This is completely pointless as they don't try to fool anyone into thinking they're cops. They just wanted to put on a new costume. It's stupid things like this that hearken back to 1920s comedy but it just doesn't hold up in the 21st century.

When Leatherheads isn't trying to be a comedy, it's trying to be a romance, or maybe a sports movie, but it unfortunately fails at all of them. It doesn't help that I think Zellweger is despicable and hideous, but nonetheless, watching both Krasinski and Clooney fight over her was petty and dull. I can enjoy a good love story every now and then, but even my wife was bored to tears during the dance scene in the speakeasy. And as far as sports movies go, Leatherheads only featured one game that even the announcers said was the most boring game they'd ever seen. Other than that, it was just a couple montages with a lot of sepia-toned still photographs.

Aside from being utterly lifeless, the big drawback to Leatherheads was the dialogue between Zellweger and Clooney. Listening to the two of them go back and forth was unimpressive. Their sharp-tongued banter was contrived and it was readily apparent that they were reading from a script. Admittedly, it sounded like something right out of a cheesy 20s movie. But we've come such a long way in filmmaking, there's no need to write such horrid dialogue anymore.

I can't really imagine what type of person Leatherheads would appeal to. There's not enough sports moments to invigorate the football fans, the romance is too little and too lame to captivate the lovebirds, and the comedy just falls flat. Maybe someone who's looking for a reimagining of 80 to 90 year old movies would enjoy Leatherheads. Otherwise, stay away from it.

ATHFCMFFT Streaming For Free

If you read that right, then you're probably looking for the link. In case you're not sure what that acronym means, it stands for Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters and it's streaming online in it's entirety for free at the Adult Swim web site. Click right here to watch this fantastic movie.




Also, apparently there's a comic book/graphic novel thingy called Last Blood that's about vampire protecting the last humans on Earth form zombies. And it's going to be made into a movie. If I read comic books, I would be all over this thing. But alas, I shall wait until it comes out in movie form. There's something about comic books I just can't get in to, no matter what the subject matter is.

Legend Of Zelda Movie Trailer

Check out the IGN exclusive trailer for The Legend Of Zelda movie. It won't embed for some reason so you need to click here to go and watch it. Sadly, this is April Fool's Day and this trailer is fake. As if it wasn't obvious. Oh well. Maybe someday somebody will make a really good Zelda movie. But only if it's really good. Otherwise, there will be riots.