Monday, February 16, 2009

Goblin Cock, Warship, Big Bear, My Stupid Friends at Harper's Ferry

Goblin Cock


Big Bear


Big Bear


My Stupid Friends


This show was special for a number of reasons but the primary one was seeing a godawful band right before Big Bear. I don't think that's ever really happened before and I was looking forward to having Big Bear sound so good after torturing myself for 30 minutes.

So My Stupid Friends were the first band and they have me completely fucking baffled. They are absolutely terrible. But, they "know" they're bad and they act all silly about it. For example, they all have matching costumes, sing songs called "Jose" with lyrics like "Jose can you see," and frequently joke about how bad they are. It's one thing to be a funny joke band and be bad but... I don't think that's what these guys are doing. I think they think they're bad in a different way then I think they're bad. And, obviously, they're bad. Like actually bad. As my friend put it, "This is like some Andy Kaufman level shit." They finished their set with a disgusting cover of "Macho Man" and I proceeded to vomit all over the empty floor.

Then Big Bear came on and I'm pretty sure that my friends and I were the only ones there who actually liked them. After their first song a guy way in the back yelled "What the fuck was that!?" I'm pretty sure he wasn't trying to complement them but hey, ya never know. This wasn't the best I've ever seen Big Bear play, so the dramatic contrast between them and My Stupid Friends wasn't quite as dramatic as I was hoping for but there's no such thing as a bad Big Bear show. I've never been disappointed in a Big Bear show; they always deliver and tonight was no different. Also, this marks the first time since their lineup change that I've heard them play a song from their first album. I can't for the life of me remember which song it was, though. Maybe #6? Whatever it was, it was great to hear one of the classics, especially revamped with a keyboard replacing the second guitar and Jordyn singing instead of screaming. And I discovered that Joel is a "math enthusiast."

Warship was up next and they are the most fucking deceptive band I've ever heard. This is a mostly metal show and their name is Warship and their logo is super metal. They weren't metal. Like, at all. Pelican is 10 times more metal than them. Goblin Cock is 100 times more metal than them. Warship is borderline emo. So they get the award for biggest letdown of the night. They weren't so much bad as disappointing. Ah well. Onto the goblin cocks.

Ohhhhh Goblin Cock. I wonder which came first to Rob Crow, the idea of making a metal band or the name Goblin Cock. My guess is the latter. I mean come on, you hear that name and you instantly think of the nastiest most brutal fucking metal ever. Which is exactly what Goblin Cock and their stage looked like. They came out cloaked in black robes with a few skulls strewn about the stage and strobe lights aplenty. Which is hilarious. Because Goblin Cock basically sounds like Rob Crow watched This Is Spinal Tap and wanted to join in on the fun. Aside from some chugging here and there, Goblin Cock is not metal. But that's part of the fun. At one point, Crow mentioned something about how one of their songs was about"caring" and someone started chastising them for not being metal to which Rob replied, "Caring is too metal." Yeah, so is covering Tears For Fears' "Head Over Heels" (which was awesome, by the way). To their defense, the head on the guitarist's guitar said "Slut" and Rob Crow wore white face paint. 'Cause they're metal.

6 comments:

steve said...

as a fellow math enthusiast i am wondering how Goblin Cock is 10x as metal as Pelican. not sure why but that doesn't seem quite right to me.

Justin Snow said...

It's quite easy, actually. Goblin Cock are more metal in every way, except in music. They look metal, they act metal, they have the metal aesthetic down pat. Pelican on the other hand, play fake post rock metal (aka "pussy metal") and they don't even act metal even a little bit. So there's your 10x, sir.

steve said...

i didn't want to do this but im going to have to call you out on your own blog. in your review you said, ahem "Goblin Cock is not metal."

explain that

Justin Snow said...

It'll be easier to explain in person. :)

steve said...

but this is the internet

bodo said...

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